Firstly my business isn't going ahead, it was very stressful, the planning and applying for funding from differant sources etc. I decided after a lot of consideration that if this was too stressful then running the business would be even worse. Secondly, I had a letter from Arden House asking me to go for a medical examination to assess my rights to benefits. Mum rang and explained my current situation, that i hadn't been out the house for 7 weeks and that I deffintly couldn't go during the school holidays (busy) or early morning as i am unwell in the mornings. Asked for a homevisit, they said i needed a fax from the dr. So mum got a fax and sent it to them. Then i got a letter saying on the occasion they couldn't offer me a home visit. Mum rang them back and they refused to change this 9.20am appointment (i had to leave house at 8am), during the holidays. I didn't go... got a form asking why i didn't go and why I hadn't told them when I made the appointment. Filled in the form. Got a letter yesterday saying that a desision maker has looked at reason for not attending and has deemed me fit to work. I have one month to appeal or find a job!

At long last

Sorry i haven't posted for a while, I have been too obsessed with Big Brother to do anything. I did however go to the hospital on August 16th. I had to go all the way to the freeman hospital. When i got there, the queue was out the department door. We queued for about 20 mins. Eventually i got called in to get weighed. So i did, and measured. I was 5ft 5 and very heavy lol... Then blood pressure, i cried when the thingy thingy'd it was so tight it hurt... blood pressue was 146/102 which is quite high apparently. I was then taken to some corridor that seemed MILES away from anywhere else in the hospital. Sat there, crying, coz i was so tired. I read a poster about hip replacement, 4 times, so i know what to expect if i ever need one. Then the doctor came out and my heart sank. I'd waited 10 years to find out what was wrong with me but now the day was actually here, I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I sat in the office with my mum by my side. Told the doctor about all my problems. She got me onto the bed and started to press on my thingy points. I knew that if I felt pain in 11 of the 18 places then she was going to diagnose me with Fibromyalgia. I think I felt pain in all 18 places. I made my way back to my chair and she told me that I did indeed have Fibromyalgia. Mum asked about M.E./Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and she said that it's the same condition in her eyes. It's not in mine but there you have it. So i THINK i have M.E also but i'm not 100% sure. She explained that the NHS doesn't have the resources to help and that in America the condition much more understood. She said that gentle excercise will help so I should get in touch with a gym, there are NHS gyms or something where I would get a discount. Physiotherapy may help but I would have to go private and there are only a couple of drugs approved in the UK. One of which i was prescribed, Amitripylene 10mg. I have to take 1 tablet in the evening, it is to help me sleep, so i can deal with my illness better when i'm awake. She took bloods, well she didn't take them, the phlibottomest took them. To check for Sjorens Disease. She said the results would be sent to me in a letter but I haven't recieved the letter yet and I have to go to GP to have blood pressure done again. She also recommended i get transfered to the Queen Elizabeth hospital in Gateshead where there a doctor who has been researching fibromyalgia and knows more about it than she does. However I have forgotten the doctor's name.

It has been 7 months since my last post. I have been reffered to Rhuemetology and had an appointment for June 28th which was cancelled and re-arranged for August 16th. I have started having another type of seizure, i grunt, my eyes roll, and i can't speak, these only last for a couple of seconds and I have upto 100 a day. I have had MRI scan and EEG over the last couple of week, getting the results in August or September (waiting for appointment). I have developed TMJ (Temporomandibular Joint Disorder) over the last couple of months. I am also in the process of starting my own business. I have set up my website and waiting for funding to come through from the council so I can get things sorted. I am an online gift shop, mainly for new age items (candles, crystals, buddah's, fairy's, incense etc). Oh and i made a ram the other day for the church display of noah's ark... Mine is the cream one.

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Happy New Year. It has been snowing since 17th December and is very cold (minus 10 - minus 17). Humidity is 90-99% so i feel very sore and things. been having a flare up since new years eve, i almost missed the new year, and this week, i had a fall on Wednesday in the kitchen (floor was wet), I feel like iv been hit by a bus or some other heavy vehicle. This year i hope to get a formal diagnosis. This has been going on for much to long. I also don't have access to a car anymore, which makes going out difficult especially in this weather. Not steady at the best times. I have been trying to sleep for an hour or 2 and can't, despite being exhausted.