What a day. What a week. I went into town on Monday with Anouska. For the first time in 9 years. I walked 3.5miles and i was shattered when i got home. Last night I starting getting a few niggling pains, nothing unbareable, i went to bed about midnight and tossed and turned in agony for 3 hrs, I got up again and couldn't move, eventually went back to bed at 5am, then thought we were being burgled (it turned out to be the rabbit). After getting to sleep at about 5.50am it was almost time to get up again. I had a hospital appointment about my seizures. The dr said there was nothing they could do for me, even though i knew i still cried, ridiculous isn't it. She said it's important i go to all my appointments even though it's hard with my agoraphobia, she said I know its hard. How does she know its hard??! She has no idea. I told her about going into town on the bus yesterday and even that didn't seem to be enough. Then i went to B&Q to get a couple of xmas baubles coz i am going into a flare up and don't know when i'll be out again. I've come home and im even worse than last night and i didn't think that was possible, im physically and mentally exhausted and can't sleep coz of the pain. I am at the end of my tether and don't know how much more i can take of it. It's 2.25am and its just getting beyond a joke. I have to get up at 9am which isn't early I know, as some people are up at 5.30am but for me it's an ungodly hour. That if im honest i'd rather not see lol. I don't know what other fibro patients (i use the term patients loosly it's more like victims) think about when in pain but all i can think about it this illness and how much i hate it. Here's to the day they find a cure! ---------------- Now playing: R.E.M. - Everybody Hurts via FoxyTunes